This post is in response to:
The question on this daily prompt was: Where do your morals come from — your family? Your faith? Your philosophical worldview? How do you deal with those who don’t share them, or derive them from a different source?
This is somewhat of a ‘sensitive’ subject for me. I feel that I was raised with one set of morals yet live my life by another. Or, even deeper, was told to have a certain set of morals while my household was being run and led by a totally different set of them. For example, I was taught not to judge someone by looks, colors, shapes or sizes…yet you could hear my dad telling my mom to wave to her sister anytime we passed a cow farm. You could hear many racial slurs yet our family is made up of so many colors and beliefs. I was taught not to lie, yet I was always the subject of one of my parents’ lies in order for them to get out of something. So, even though I was raised in this ‘do as I say, not as I do’ household, and as frustrating as it may have been, I am thankful for it. I am thankful that I would get so upset when one of my parents, friends or family members would say negative, hurtful things about people. I am thankful that I grew up in a somewhat two-faced lying household. I am thankful for the racial jokes and the comments about someones gender or sexual identity. I am thankful for experiencing all of these hurtful things because it made me realize how I DID NOT want to be – it is what built the morals that I have today.
I think the worst part about hearing my parents and everything that they have said about people is this: They have a daughter that is physically handicapped. My dad is a convicted felon who served prison time. My mom has become a woman with a personality disorder so severe that you never know ‘who’ you are going to get when you spend time with her. Who are they to judge others while these differences are in their very own home? “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone…” Right?
I was raised to believe in God and not to use His name in vain. Unfortunately, that’s all that I was taught. I knew not one word of the bible. I didn’t know who God was, who Jesus was, or that there was a difference between them. I was told to pray but was never taught how to. For several years now I have been bitter and resentful of the fact that I was never introduced to religion or higher powers; I was just expected to believe in them. Within the last year or so I have really started to question my own beliefs and have felt an incredible urge to find my faith and truly start to understand all of it. I want to figure out where I belong in religion and beliefs.
I won’t lie and pretend I’m perfect and that I don’t raise an eyebrow or wonder why people do the things that they do. However, I try to take a step back and remind myself that we are all different and that is what makes us all wonderful and beautiful. Each of us has a way of making an impact on the world. What may be such a small and maybe even unnoticeable impact to you, just might mean the world to someone else. We all have a story that is just begging to be heard. I am so grateful and become very excited to learn about people, to know their ways and beliefs, to hear opinions and experiences. People in general are just extraordinary characters that never fail to amaze me (both positively and negatively) every single day.
I am judged every single day of my life just by simply walking down the street. I was raised to do the same to others. But, I have raised myself to be strong enough and confident enough to find my own set of morals, the morals that no one can destruct. Morals are ever-changing. Find yours and stick with them, don’t let anyone change them. If you change your morals, you’re changing who you really are as a person.
No matter who you are, I want to know your story.
***This post actually took a fairly different direction than I was planning, but I like where it ended up and what I was able to say. I can’t wait to have more followers to that this can become a discussion rather than a one sided vent.