DPChallenge – Love in the 21st Century

This is a post in response to:


I still don’t know if I have done the tagging and pingbacks correctly.  If someone could further instruct me on that, that would be wonderful!  Or hey, maybe you can tell me that I’ve actually done it right.  I’m trying my hand at the blogging world and have started with this challenge.  I think it is a great idea to have ideas to discuss when everything in your mind is murky and hard to get through.


Although I have been a subject of online dating and internet, long distance relationships, I think that they make it too easy to ‘fall in love.’  You start to adore a person, look forward to that new email or that text message…you talk to them for hours on end in some way shape or form…and now, you’re in love.  But, the miles have gotten to be too much, so you’re out of love and giving up on it.  That is until you meet the next great one online…but this one is okay because they are 100 miles closer than the last.  You fall in love again, fall in to the same patterns as before, and become a victim of the distance between the two of you yet again.

I made this sound so horrible but I, too, have fallen in love with the personality that resides states away from me.  So, I shall not judge but simply give opinion and the lessons I have learned in these adventures.

Some people wonder if it’s truly a relationship if you don’t have physical contact with the person. They wonder how you can have emotions for and connections with a person through words alone.  By communicating in nothing but words (and the occasional Skype session to make sure they’re really human) you are forced to get to know the true person, who they are from the inside out rather than your first impression being judged by looks alone.  By only having texts and email you start to ask all of the silly questions just to keep the conversation flowing, just so that you don’t have to hang up or put the phone back on the charger.  You soon realize, though, that those aren’t silly questions at all.  The combined answers to all of those questions are what create the other person.  THAT is their personality. THOSE are their beliefs and desires.

I have had a few long distance relationships in my years of dating.  My first one started when I was just 18.  We met through a chat room that discussed a common interest.  It went from casual chat, to daily chat, to texts, to lengthy emails, to phone discussions and, finally, to meeting in person.  How strange it was to go from talking for hours on end to being in person and not having a single word to say to each other.  I always knew that you couldn’t form a solid relationship on the physical attraction alone.  But, I quickly learned, that you also cannot base it on the emotional attraction alone either.  It absolutely has to be a combination of both.

Internet dating also gives you the ability to be whoever you want to be – and also gives you the ability and the comfort to be exactly who you are.  It is both a blessing and a curse.  I wasn’t a very self-confident person so I spent much of my adolescence behind the screen of a computer making best friends with screen names.  I was allowed to be me because no one judged me from the initial meeting.  It eventually showed me that I am an okay person and that people do want to get to know me for me.  It was a great stepping stone in finding the self-confidence I so greatly needed.

Fortunately, I have not had any internet dating disasters.  Unfortunately (yet fortunately) none of those relationships panned out for me.  I am extremely happy in a relationship that started on love at first sight (if you believe in it).  But, I won’t ever forget the things I learned through all of the relationships that helped build me.

I believe that internet dating is a great place to start.  I know many couples who have met their spouses on different dating websites and they are extremely happy!  I think that it gives you the foundation to start talking, but it is up to you to make it bigger than your words alone.

A relationship is defined as: The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.  Don’t let anyone else define your relationship…you connect however you need to.

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One Response to DPChallenge – Love in the 21st Century

  1. Nikita says:

    I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who started dating from behind the computer screen (: Even more so, I am surprised how many of your conclusions are same as mine!

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