DPChallenge – Morality Play

This post is in response to:

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/06/24/daily-prompt-morality-play/

The question on this daily prompt was: Where do your morals come from — your family? Your faith? Your philosophical worldview? How do you deal with those who don’t share them, or derive them from a different source?

This is somewhat of a ‘sensitive’ subject for me.  I feel that I was raised with one set of morals yet live my life by another.  Or, even deeper, was told to have a certain set of morals while my household was being run and led by a totally different set of them.  For example, I was taught not to judge someone by looks, colors, shapes or sizes…yet you could hear my dad telling my mom to wave to her sister anytime we passed a cow farm.  You could hear many racial slurs yet our family is made up of so many colors and beliefs. I was taught not to lie, yet I was always the subject of one of my parents’ lies in order for them to get out of something.  So, even though I was raised in this ‘do as I say, not as I do’ household, and as frustrating as it may have been, I am thankful for it.  I am thankful that I would get so upset when one of my parents, friends or family members would say negative, hurtful things about people.  I am thankful that I grew up in a somewhat two-faced lying household.  I am thankful for the racial jokes and the comments about someones gender or sexual identity.  I am thankful for experiencing all of these hurtful things because it made me realize how I DID NOT want to be – it is what built the morals that I have today.

I think the worst part about hearing my parents and everything that they have said about people is this:  They have a daughter that is physically handicapped. My dad is a convicted felon who served prison time.  My mom has become a woman with a personality disorder so severe that you never know ‘who’ you are going to get when you spend time with her.  Who are they to judge others while these differences are in their very own home?  “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone…”  Right?

I was raised to believe in God and not to use His name in vain.  Unfortunately, that’s all that I was taught.  I knew not one word of the bible.  I didn’t know who God was, who Jesus was, or that there was a difference between them.  I was told to pray but was never taught how to.  For several years now I have been bitter and resentful of the fact that I was never introduced to religion or higher powers; I was just expected to believe in them.  Within the last year or so I have really started to question my own beliefs and have felt an incredible urge to find my faith and truly start to understand all of it. I want to figure out where I belong in religion and beliefs.

I won’t lie and pretend I’m perfect and that I don’t raise an eyebrow or wonder why people do the things that they do.  However, I try to take a step back and remind myself that we are all different and that is what makes us all wonderful and beautiful.  Each of us has a way of making an impact on the world.  What may be such a small and maybe even unnoticeable impact to you, just might mean the world to someone else.  We all have a story that is just begging to be heard.  I am so grateful and become very excited to learn about people, to know their ways and beliefs, to hear opinions and experiences.  People in general are just extraordinary characters that never fail to amaze me (both positively and negatively) every single day.

I am judged every single day of my life just by simply walking down the street.  I was raised to do the same to others.  But, I have raised myself to be strong enough and confident enough to find my own set of morals, the morals that no one can destruct.  Morals are ever-changing.  Find yours and stick with them, don’t let anyone change them. If you change your morals,  you’re changing who you really are as a person.

No matter who you are, I want to know your story.

***This post actually took a fairly different direction than I was planning, but I like where it ended up and what I was able to say.  I can’t wait to have more followers to that this can become a discussion rather than a one sided vent.

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DPChallenge – Love in the 21st Century

This is a post in response to:

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/06/24/weekly-writing-challenge-love/

I still don’t know if I have done the tagging and pingbacks correctly.  If someone could further instruct me on that, that would be wonderful!  Or hey, maybe you can tell me that I’ve actually done it right.  I’m trying my hand at the blogging world and have started with this challenge.  I think it is a great idea to have ideas to discuss when everything in your mind is murky and hard to get through.

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Although I have been a subject of online dating and internet, long distance relationships, I think that they make it too easy to ‘fall in love.’  You start to adore a person, look forward to that new email or that text message…you talk to them for hours on end in some way shape or form…and now, you’re in love.  But, the miles have gotten to be too much, so you’re out of love and giving up on it.  That is until you meet the next great one online…but this one is okay because they are 100 miles closer than the last.  You fall in love again, fall in to the same patterns as before, and become a victim of the distance between the two of you yet again.

I made this sound so horrible but I, too, have fallen in love with the personality that resides states away from me.  So, I shall not judge but simply give opinion and the lessons I have learned in these adventures.

Some people wonder if it’s truly a relationship if you don’t have physical contact with the person. They wonder how you can have emotions for and connections with a person through words alone.  By communicating in nothing but words (and the occasional Skype session to make sure they’re really human) you are forced to get to know the true person, who they are from the inside out rather than your first impression being judged by looks alone.  By only having texts and email you start to ask all of the silly questions just to keep the conversation flowing, just so that you don’t have to hang up or put the phone back on the charger.  You soon realize, though, that those aren’t silly questions at all.  The combined answers to all of those questions are what create the other person.  THAT is their personality. THOSE are their beliefs and desires.

I have had a few long distance relationships in my years of dating.  My first one started when I was just 18.  We met through a chat room that discussed a common interest.  It went from casual chat, to daily chat, to texts, to lengthy emails, to phone discussions and, finally, to meeting in person.  How strange it was to go from talking for hours on end to being in person and not having a single word to say to each other.  I always knew that you couldn’t form a solid relationship on the physical attraction alone.  But, I quickly learned, that you also cannot base it on the emotional attraction alone either.  It absolutely has to be a combination of both.

Internet dating also gives you the ability to be whoever you want to be – and also gives you the ability and the comfort to be exactly who you are.  It is both a blessing and a curse.  I wasn’t a very self-confident person so I spent much of my adolescence behind the screen of a computer making best friends with screen names.  I was allowed to be me because no one judged me from the initial meeting.  It eventually showed me that I am an okay person and that people do want to get to know me for me.  It was a great stepping stone in finding the self-confidence I so greatly needed.

Fortunately, I have not had any internet dating disasters.  Unfortunately (yet fortunately) none of those relationships panned out for me.  I am extremely happy in a relationship that started on love at first sight (if you believe in it).  But, I won’t ever forget the things I learned through all of the relationships that helped build me.

I believe that internet dating is a great place to start.  I know many couples who have met their spouses on different dating websites and they are extremely happy!  I think that it gives you the foundation to start talking, but it is up to you to make it bigger than your words alone.

A relationship is defined as: The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.  Don’t let anyone else define your relationship…you connect however you need to.

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LOOK! I’m a blogger…kinda

Alright, maybe not…but I want to be.  That counts, right?  I don’t want to be the one that makes a profession out of it, but I do want to be the one that people are anxious to read about…the one that people are interested in and wonder who the woman behind the words just might be.  There’s something pretty freeing about being anonymous.  I can write whatever I want and even the people closest to me will (hopefully) never guess it’s me.  BUT – how do I get this blog out there?  How do I pull people in to start reading?  It’s not like I can buy a billboard…or post on Facebook (same thing) because that would most certainly give it away.

I love to write, I love to read what others write…I want to be as interesting to others as I find myself.

I have so many things in my head…religion, family, kids, photography, work, relationships, friends, and cute little fuzzy things that can’t help but be shared…and so much more!

So, welcome…to my one reader (I’m hoping there’s at least one).  Please stick with me…I promise, a bug’s eye view is different from any other views.

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